Getting rid of the word 'should' -- A guide to starting the new year off by setting healthy goals

Jan. 12—MITCHELL — "New year, new me."

It's a saying that people around the world have echoed in different forms as they've watched the clock strike midnight to New Year's Day. Most make resolutions to improve themselves over the course of the next 12 months, with common goals like losing weight, eating healthy or to stop watching as much TV.

According to Roswitha Konz, clinical director at Dakota Counseling in Mitchell, staying on top of your mental health is one of the most important parts of kicking the new year off right, noting a few tips and tricks to stay mentally fit so you can accomplish all your resolutions this year.

"You know, people make those New Year's resolutions and 99.9% of them are no longer valid as of January 5," she said with a laugh. "The one thing that people need to do is get rid of the word 'should.'"

Konz explained that the word "should" fills most with feelings of resentment, hindering the accomplishment of goals and tasks before they've even begun.

"You always hear people say, 'Oh, I should really call my mom' or 'I should really do this' and 'I should do that,' and that word is just loaded with guilt and discomfort and false obligations," Konz said. "Instead of saying 'should,' people need to make a decision: either do it — because you want to and you choose to — or make the decision not to do it. And then own that decision. That 'should' is so unhealthy and it just grows like cancer over time. (Most) people will feel much more empowered if they just eliminate it altogether."

According to Konz, some may struggle with just a small bout of the "winter blues," also known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), to which she prescribes a simple stroll outside, Vitamin D supplements, or basking in the sunshine for a bit.

"(It's) very important to get light in the winter months," Konz explained. "You can go outside in the sunshine and soak up some of that sun, because that's a real thing — people get depressed because they don't have enough light and vitamin D."

However, Konz recognized that others struggle throughout the year and not just when winter hits, noting that nearly 1 in 10 Americans are believed to have a diagnosable anxiety disorder.

"The last two to three years have increased anxiety (rates) tremendously. According to the latest National Institute of Health numbers, over 15% of the American population has a diagnosable anxiety disorder," Konz said. "That means that their symptoms aren't just run-of-the-mill worries; it means their symptoms, if they came in to see me or any other health professional, would meet the diagnostic criteria for an anxiety disorder diagnosis. 15% — that's a lot."

To combat anxiety, however, Konz noted that allowing time for peace as a daily habit helps to increase productivity and decrease the amount of stressors in day-to-day activities.

"People can use prayer, if that's something they do anyways," Konz said. "Or they can use any kind of mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness is just focusing on what is happening here and now, quieting the mind by focusing on the details of your surroundings."

Part of taking care of your mental health means making sure your body is physically healthy, too, including creating a sleeping environment that is conducive to getting a good night's rest and going to the doctor when sick.

Konz explained that using other senses, like the sense of smell, might help to invoke positive emotions before performing difficult or intimidating tasks. As part of her nighttime routine, she sprays her bedroom with what she described as a "relaxing spray" that she found while at a spa with her daughter — a positive experience tied to an inviting smell.

"Making your sleeping environment as inviting as possible is incredibly important," Konz said, explaining that some use white noise while others might try other routines. "For instance, people that have trouble falling asleep shouldn't use screens for an hour before trying to go to bed. Things like that have a greater impact than most people realize."

Ultimately, Konz explained that accomplishing goals and keeping mentally fit is up to the individual.

"If the only goal is 'I should' — there's that word again — like, 'everybody tells me I need to get more exercise, so I should join the gym and be there for five hours a week and eat healthy and what ever' and the minute that you don't, you feel bad, you feel guilty and say, 'Oh, I'm a loser' and put yourself down — that is not healthy," Konz said. "So people need to examine the reasons behind those New Year's resolutions. If they have a specific goal, something that's on their bucket list, then by all means, put things in place so that you are able to reach that goal. But, if it's a goal that starts with 'I need' or 'I should,' people need to evaluate the motivation behind these goals."

___

(c)2023 The Daily Republic (Mitchell, S.D.)

Visit The Daily Republic (Mitchell, S.D.) at www.mitchellrepublic.com

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.